


I'm not losing you (not since I just got you)

by Symph_5683



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Discussions of death, F/F, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Spoilers for C2E123, it doesn't go farther than them kissing but Beau has her shirt off, no beta we die like purple tieflings, tender physical contact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:40:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29163549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Symph_5683/pseuds/Symph_5683
Summary: Beau had a very long day, luckily Yasha is there to make it better
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 4
Kudos: 118





	I'm not losing you (not since I just got you)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this and wasn't happy with the tense it was in so i rewrote the whole thing. I hope you enjoy!

Beau’s used to getting hurt. She’s trained for years to know how to dodge attacks but even that didn’t leave her fully untouchable. Her up close fighting style left her open for all kinds of attacks: biting, burning, punching, stabbing, anything that could be used against her, had at some point. Creatures had tried to ingest her 3 times now (that part could stop now, please and thank you). Strangling, however, was not on that list- at least not to this degree. 

Lucien’s hand curls around her throat and the pain is blinding white. Blood pours out from her mouth and then he squeezes harder. The blood continues to pour from her nose then her ears, and then it starts to drip from her eyes. 

“Is this really how you want this to go?” Lucien snarls in her face. He pulls a sword out and Beau braces herself for the end.

If she could see him, she could truly grasp the gravity and the irony of this. Molly had died protecting her and now Lucien was killing her. Her hands reach up to his, tries to loosen his grip in vain.

Yasha’s used to watching her friends get hurt. It’s their job, afterall. Seeing Molly- no Lucien with his hand around Beau’s throat is the final tipping point. Beau, the woman who was quick to piece together information like a puzzle with missing pieces, Beau, the woman who was even faster to attack anyone who dared lay a hand on her team, Beau, the woman who taught her how to love again. 

When she sees the blood start to pour out of Beau’s eyes, fire begins to rise in her soul. Her owl polymorph form is quick to react. She swipes down and grabs Beau away from Lucien’s grasp. 

She wants to stop here, drop her polymorph, take care of the dripping blood. She wants to kiss Beau like they’ll die tonight. There isn’t time, though. Their fight is near futile. They had to keep fighting.

Beau chugs a healing potion and rejoins the fight. Nothing can keep her down. 

* * *

By the time they run far enough to lose the tombtakers, exhaustion runs deep through the group. Their polymorphs had dropped over an hour ago and now harsh winds spray snow constantly into their faces. The blood on Beau’s face hardens in seconds, leaving her cheeks bloodstained and raw. She stumbles and falls when the wind picks up even harder than it had been. 

Yasha’s hand reaches out and pulls her up. “Can I carry you?”

“I’m fine,” she lies, not quite answering the question at hand.

“Please,” Yasha begs.

Beau can see the concern pooling in Yasha’s eyes, the desperate plea they contain so she relents, “okay.”

Yasha picks her up and holds her close to her chest. Beau curls up into her chest. She manages to be warm even in the bitter cold. It doesn’t take long for her breathing to slow, a blissful sleep comes over her.

* * *

A few hours later they approach the gates of the dynasty outpost. Morning light dawning over the horizon. “Who are you and what is your business here?” one of the guards at the gate yells out.

Caleb was the one to step forward. “We are friends of Essek Thelyss and we carry emblems of the Bright Queen. We seek shelter and a conversation with our friend.” He pulls the medallion out of his pocket and shows it to the guards.

The guards hurry to open the gate. “We can get you rooms for the night. I’m sure the Shadowhand will request dinner with you all shortly.”

Yasha brought beau up to their room and set her down gently on the bed. “Hey,” she whispers, lightly rubbing her hand against the smaller girl’s arm, “we’re safe, it’s time to wake up.” 

Beau blinks awake and rushes to sit up, “Yash- where are we?”

“We made it to the Dynasty outpost, I think Essek is getting us dinner in a little bit.”

“Where are the others?” Beau feels an unconscious anxiety rise in her chest.

“Everyone is safe, we got a few rooms,” Yasha keeps her voice calm and level, “I just wanted to make sure you were feeling better before we went down with everyone.”

“I’m fine, Yasha, it’s not a big deal,” Beau lies on instinct. 

“Your face is still covered in blood.”

“Oh.”

“I’m gonna help you, okay?” Yasha’s quiet voice makes Beau’s heart jump.

“Okay.”

Yasha leaves for a moment. She returns moments later with a washcloth and some semi warm water. When she comes back, Beau has her knees up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them. 

“What are you thinking about?,” Yasha kneels down in front of Beau, “I can see the gears turning in your head.”

Beau takes a moment to respond but Yasha waits until she’s ready. “Are you sure you wanna go on a date?”

“Of course I do Beau, why do you think I wouldn’t”. Yasha starts to wipe the dried blood from under Beau’s eyes. She flinches when a spec takes a little more pressure to get off.

“What if I die on you?” 

“Beau,” Yasha’s heat shatters. Beau’s voice is so small and quiet, she thinks for a moment this can’t be her Beau. She moves to the blood caked under Beau’s nose.

“Today, for the first time, I was afraid of dying. I want to stay alive so I can live with you, but you don’t deserve getting close with someone and having them die on you,”  _ again _ is left unsaid but Yasha feels it. 

“Beau,” she repeats, moving towards her ears. 

“I can’t do that to you,” Beau starts taking the large jade earrings out, “I can’t leave you alone.”

“Beau, look at me,” she puts the cloth down for a second, waits for their eyes to meet, “please”.

Beau looks up into Yasha’s eyes, tears burn as they run down her face. She figures there’s still some blood mixing in. 

“We’re powerful people now, Beau, if something happens to you we will do whatever it takes to bring you back.”

“But-”

“No buts, I’m not losing you,”  _ not after I just got you _ . Yasha takes the cloth and starts wiping away the last of the blood from Beau's lips.

Her touch is so  _ soft,  _ all she wants is  _ more _ . She looks into Yasha’s eyes and her desperation is close to driving her insane.

“Hey,” Jester knocks at the door, “we’re gonna eat in a minute, come down whenever you’re ready.”

“We’ll be down in a second,” Yasha yells back.

* * *

Dinner is hard. Beau’s brain is running on turbo mode. Paying attention to the conversations is futile. Her brain drags her attention to anything but. The tattoo covered on her hand, the scraping of utensils on plates, the newfound ringing in her ears, the way Yasha keeps looking over to her.

Yasha hears Essek and Caleb are talking about their last few days of adventuring (with interjections from Jester) but her attention is set on Beau. She watches as Beau bounces her leg and looks around rapidly.

“Are you okay?” Yasha whispers. She’s quiet enough that only Beau can hear. 

Beau only shrugs.

“We’re gonna head up for the night,” Yasha speaks, standing up from the table, “thank you for the food, it was wonderful.”

“Of course,” Essek smiles, “enjoy your rest.”

* * *

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t be down there for any longer,” Beau sits on the bed-  _ their  _ bed, “my brain is kinda screwy right now.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Yasha takes her armor off and walks over to Beau, “I have something that might be able to calm you down if you want me to.”

“I trust you.”

“Take your shirt off and lie on the bed for me, I’m gonna go grab something real quick,” Yasha says gently, not realizing the possible inference Beau could make from that statement. 

“Woah I thought we wanted to go on a date first.”

“Yes and we will, that isn’t my plan for the night,” Yasha laughs, leaving the room.

She returns a few moments later, a small jar in her hand. “I’m gonna sit on your back for a bit, if you want me to stop at any time let me know, okay?” She waits for Beau’s nod to move. The cream is cold on her hands so she rubs them together before starting to rub her hands on Beau’s shoulders.

“Yasha you don’t have to,” Beau says while Yasha massages her shoulders in gentle circles, her fingers tracing the shimmering green lines of her tattoo.

“I want to.” She moves down to Beau’s upper back, soothing her tense muscles. She never had the chance to see all of the scars down Beau’s back. She can figure out what most of them are, she was there for most of them. The teeth of the T-rex from Rumblecusp left large marks on her back. The ones from the dragon are fresh but healed over from healing magic. She starts tracing the other ones- ones from fights that weren’t so deadly until she sees  _ the _ scar. The one she made months ago in the Cathedral. Without thinking she leans down and lets her lips graze the raised skin.

“Yasha,” Beau breathes out.

“Was that okay?”

“That- that was perfect,” Beau turns over and sits up. She’s increasingly aware of how close she is to Yasha’s face.

“I want to kiss you so bad,” Yasha whispers.

“Please,” Beau practically begs. Their voices are so quiet they speak like it’s a secret, like if anyone else heard the moment would disappear. 

Yasha leans in halfway, gives Beau space to lean in herself. When their lips finally meet it’s electrifying. Every particle in their bodies colliding as if they didn’t kiss in time their bodies would fizzle out and disappear. Atoms exploding as they collide. Time slows and they’re locked in a perfect moment of bliss.

Beau only pulls away when she’s out of breath. “Fuck,” she smiles, her fingers brushing over her tingling lips.

“That was-”

“Amazing.” Beau cups Yasha’s face in her hand, rubbing her check softly and Yasha kisses her thumb. 

Beau yawns and Yasha smiles, “ready for bed now?”

“Will you stay tonight?” Beau asks, hope filling her body.

“Of course I will.” As if there was anywhere she’d rather be.

“I don't wanna be alone tonight.”

“You don't have to be alone ever again,”  _ not if I can help it.  _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful day!


End file.
